Burden Down ~ What I’m Leaving In 2017

Well shit. It’s been one hell of a year. Anyone else?

In truth, 2016 was a real doozy too and I could not have been more ready for 2017. And the universe laughed.

But now, now I’m really ready for the coming year and I’m determined it’s going to be filled with all the goodness. I can just feel it….but first I need to wrap this year up.

In 2016 my word was DISCOVER. And oh my word did I do a whole lot of that. The good, the bad, and the ugly, which led to 2017’s word, PEACE. Because let’s be honest, I really needed some. And although it’s been a year of great loss and struggle, I have also found a whole lot of it along the way. In addition, I see the universe aligning to create an environment where peace can thrive. And that is pure gold.

But in order to really achieve peace, I’ve had to continue discovering – learning about myself and others, how to let things go and really lay the burden down.

When I lay this burden down
Who’s gonna take it up for me
When you run me in the ground
That’s the day you’re gonna see
For all I’ve done I’m alone
Just for a moment could I not be strong
How ’bout now, can I lay
This burden down

Isn’t that what we do? We hang onto these burdens until someone else hopefully carries them for us. Listen to me, we have to stop that….we cannot be responsible for it all. The biggest thing I’ve learned this past year is how to LET GO of the burdens that aren’t mine to carry, even if noone else is picking them up for me. I can feel, process, learn from, be strengthened, and then let. go.

Here is some of what I am letting go of and leaving behind in 2017:

• The need to be a part of EVERY single experience of my kids {There is magic in getting to hear about it from them and feeling excitement at seeing each other again}
• The idea that my wants and needs aren’t important
• The need to do it all
• Feelings of betrayal 
• Feelings of not being enough
• Not being worth someone’s effort, time, honesty
• Loneliness
• Sadness
• Fear of loss
• Being a fool
• Fear of being a fool again
• Anxiety {some is bound to be with me forever and I know that, but I’m letting go of what I can. Mel Robbins’ The Five Second Rule is an excellent resource}

Now I am not naive to think these feelings will never creep in but what I’ve learned this past year specifically is how to manage them when they do. How to dissect them, feel what I need to, and move away from what is not mine. This is what gives me the peace I’m seeking. The peace I think we all are, honestly.

I’ve spent the past few weeks with specific intention in packing these feelings/experiences up so I can leave them here in 2017.

I’m doing it, I am laying the burden down.