Considering February is the month with Valentine’s Day, it seems fitting that the theme or goal for this month is *Remember Love* {Marriage}
The things listed to help achieve this are:
*Quit nagging
*Don’t expect praise or appreciation
*Fight right
*No dumping
*Give proofs of love
Happiness is arriving at your holiday – Barcelo Maya Beach, April 2011
I have always felt like we fell into married life with ease. We rarely fought and seemed to often be on the same page with plans, decisions, etc. We were good at taking care of each other. Even adding Brooklyn to our family, and then Jonah, didn’t upset our dynamic. Fast forward to now, 12 years in, and I can tell you that we pretty much have that same ease. BUT I have noticed in the last few years, as the kids are older and life is busier outside of the house, that some things have started to slip. And I’ve realized that just because we haven’t needed to put in effort, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t.
I have felt the danger in becoming complacent and the importance of making the time to put in that extra effort. It has made a world of difference ~ because at the end of the day I love and adore him. I chose him 12 years ago and every day I choose him again. So now it comes down to making sure that I behave in a way that shows that.
Never a dull moment… (also Barcelo Maya Beach, 2011)
Lucky for the Captain, I am a stellar wife. Lucky for me, he would agree. And he is truly an incredible husband. There have been short periods where additional effort has been required, but on the whole our marriage has not required work. It is something I am genuinely aware of and grateful for. We have a pretty good gig here.
So, to the list….I honestly don’t think most of the items on the list apply to us. Because this is my happiness project, I’ll focus just on me and the things I’m doing. I am not the nagging sort, so it’s not something I need to work on really. I don’t do things for the recognition, though I’m not ashamed to announce that I am the best wife ever if I’ve done something specific. haha {On that note, the Captain is always good about expressing gratitude for the things I do, so I’m certain that helps}. Fight right ~ We aren’t big fighters, and usually if we do is either me being a little on edge and picking a fight as a result, OR simply a matter of miscommunication. But I have learned to recognize these times for what they are. We hate fighting and are not good at keeping one going. Don’t get me wrong, the man can make me A-N-G-R-Y! But I learned early on the benefit of self talk and working through my thoughts and feelings so that I could better address the actual problem. It has really made a huge difference and has really helped me in every other area of my life.
Yep, this is the man I choose. haha
No dumping – Gah, not something I really do either. So let’s just make this entire month about the last (and incredibly important) one listed:
GIVE PROOFS OF LOVE
In the first sentence of this section, Gretchen quotes Pierre Reverdy, “There is no love; there are only proofs of love.” And she goes on to explain saying, “Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only in my actions.” Man, I love that.
So that is my focus for the month of February – to give proofs of love. Because I’m already a stellar wife (ha!), I have to admit showing love and affection is something we do consistently ~ with each other and with our kids. But I wanted to use this month as an opportunity to go above and beyond the things we already do to show love. What’s so great about this, for me in particular, is that it’s allowing me to really stop and slow down – focusing more on Brent. Life is busy…and he is gone a lot of the time, so it can be difficult sometimes to *fit* him back into life. But this month I am working on putting him back on the priority list and making sure I’m not *forgetting* him in the process of tackling all the other things on my list.
My heart belongs in Mexico…with him of course {Puerto Vallarta, November 2013)
I’ll be posting a few more times this month specifically about this, to share with you the ways I give proofs of love. The things I already do and the new things I’ve added.
What are some ways you give proofs of love to your significant other?
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